The Baby Bean Blog

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Adoption Day

As I mentioned before, the plan was for my partner to adopt Ella. Actually, by some strange quirk of the law, for one of us to adopt her, we both have to. Yes, last Friday, October 29, 2005, I adopted my own baby. I found filling out the forms, trying to get permission to ADOPT MY OWN BABY to be quite amusing. I just kept imagining what would happen if they turned me down. I supposed I would say something like, "Oh well, I guess I'll just keep her as my natural born child then. SHUCKS." Since we live in Philadelphia County, we are not required to have a home study. But friends of mine who live in Montgomery County were required a home study. I find it baffling. I mean, if the social worker comes out and doesn't think their nice house in the suburbs is good enough, what could happen? The baby is going to live there anyway. But perhaps it's time to move on from these musings. None of the above happened anyway.

When I would mention that Friday was adoption day, people did something very strange--they wished us "good luck." I'm not sure if they didn't know what else to say or if they didn't understand that this was a formality. The whole court process took about five minutes and the result was a forgone conclusion. We went into a room that was like a corporate conference room. The judge and court reporter were just sitting at a rectangular table. No impressive wooden furniture or anything. Then she asked each of us the following questions:

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?
What is your date of birth?
Where were you born?
Where have you lived for the past five years?
(And I think, I'm not sure) Have you ever been arrested?

In addition, we were also asked:

Is the child's name Ella Bean?
Will the child's name be Ella Bean?
What was the date of the child's birth?
Where was the child born?

And that was it. The end. I think it might have even concluded with something very official sounding from the judge like, "Okay." And then they gave Ella a stuffed dog, a beagle, I believe. We had brought a camera so that we could have our picture taken with the judge, which we did (my partner wanted that). And then we left. Quite a breath-taking five minutes, I'm sure you can tell.

Snide remarks aside, it is nice. Really, it's the first legal recognition of our family unit. If I am Ella's legal parent and my partner is Ella's legal parent, then we are a legal family unit, unified by our baby. She's pretty amazing that she can make that happen for us considering the current political climate. As a nod to the conservatives running the country, we put Ella in a dress, in public, for the first time.


  • This post was very touching. Thank you. It made my day.

    By Blogger Diva, at 2:04 PM, November 03, 2005  

  • My husband and I had to have a home study because we adopted his niece. They're expensive! The social worker really didn't check out the house much, she just asked a lot of questions like "what happens when you two fight? How do you resolve your anger? " and "Do you believe in spanking as punishment?" BTW- congrats on the new baby and the future new baby! I been reading for a little bit, but haven't really posted before.

    By Anonymous Jenn M., at 8:28 AM, November 04, 2005  

  • I remember when Jenn and husband had the home study. The whole thing was so money and time wasting since they'd had guardianship for a long time before and had already proven that they were fine parent material. None of us could figure out where the NH state social worker's heads were located. It was so asinine...

    Anyway, congratulations on gaining family unit status. This is all so amazing isn't it? ~:^)

    By Blogger foxymama, at 11:53 PM, November 04, 2005  

  • Diva, Glad to hear you're day was better because of my post. That was a very nice thing to say. :)

    Jenn, You're right about the expense. Our friends who had to have a home study paid something like $1500 for it, and it held up the process by many months. We had to go in to meet a social worker, and my partner did have to answer some questions like those you mentioned, but the questions were on a form she filled out, and they left like two lines for questions like, "What is your parenting philosophy?" Two lines to answer THAT! LOL

    Foxy, I agree with you on all points (see my response to Jenn). And thanks for the congratulations. You're right on that front, too--it is amazing. My baby is a pretty amazing little girl! (if I do say so myself :) )

    By Blogger Oz, at 9:04 PM, November 06, 2005  

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